995 Words. That’s how many the word count read when I peeked into Lucy’s PC. There and then, a standard was set and I made it grade one priority to ensure that by the time l was presenting my essay, it had to be exactly 995 words. Not less, not more. But, that was me initiating my own disaster.
Firstly, the Forgetfulness
When it comes to the behavioral malady of not believing in ourselves, it begins precisely with forgetting to discover oneself. Self-discovery is underrated, for real.
We don’t pay attention to how overly critical it is to say “wait a minute, who the hell am I?” and not just stop there, but embark on the quest of unraveling the very traits that assemble our individuality.
To self-discover, you start out with certain key pointers.
What is your passion, your strength, weakness, inclination, dislikes, values, belief, life’s perception?
Ponder for a bit.
If you are unable to readily respond to these pointers, then dear reader, I hope you’re not far gone in age yet, so it might be some consolation that you haven’t spent so many years living wrong.
One of my weaknesses is that I am sometimes unnecessarily argumentative.
You see, because I wield strong verbal command, I can easily drain one out in a conversation.
But you know such can deprive you of certain good and wreck your relationships as well, along with other repercussions.
So what do I do? I endeavor to remember, always. Whenever I’m conversing, in my mind I intercept myself with words like “hold on,” “listen first,” “chill,” “don’t start.”
I don’t know when or if I’d entirely stop being argumentative (that’s not the point,) but I assure you that ever since I discovered this trait and began paying attention to it, I’ve been able to lead better conversations and healthier relationships.
All I need to do is to keep remembering and keep working at it. And you know what such consistency is most likely going to yield at some point? Perfection
Understand thyself. When you do, you deduce which attributes should become your major and which become minors. Once you master this, you begin to record profound experiencesin life.
Uchenna
Do You Feel Enough?
Another major track to self-disbelief is the idea somewhere in your subconscious that you just don’t measure up; less than enough.
This perception chiefly stems from the hitch of being unaware of who we are.
One thing that can rouse such a thought pattern is when you find someone you admire a lot. This isn’t wrong of course but the red flag is when you go and make becoming exactly that person your life’s priority.
Mentors, icons, godfathers, and all that are not for duplication, but for inspiring and thrusting the best version of YOU.
If you don’t know yourself first, you will find someone who should inspire or challenge you and then make it a silly competition trying to be exactly them.
Uchenna
That was my case with Lucy in first year of college. Yea, same Lucy I was referring to when I started. She was smart, kind, comely, and was always oozing super-intelligent vibes, but in a sweet way. Aww! Just the prototype of what I thought a teenage girl should be.
The English lecturer had requested we present an essay, allotting unique topics to each student. In the instruction, he stipulated “800 to 1000” as word limit.
It was only about an hour to the presentation and I had already concluded eleven days of hard work and research when my itchy eyes traveled to Lucy’s PC to mark her word count.
I concluded, if she chose 995 words, then it had to be the smartest choice. After all, Lucy was THE student.
So I got real busy working out my 832-word count till it was exactly 995.
Dumb yeah? I know, I know! lol but that was over a decade ago, a girl is now her number one believer.
Well, the assessment was that type you did and got your appraisal and score on the spot.
Result time!
Lucy’s came and after a few others, mine did. You know how she performed? Take a guess. You thought she did poorly or just fair? You wish. I wished so too. She aced it. Clean 9/10. Me? Forget it.
You know, the highlight of that episode was the remark the lecturer gave afterward. For Lucy, he went on with a line like “you were luxurious with words and obviously had a lot more if not for the word constraint, but you garnished your luxury with shrewdness and that was your shining armor.”
Whew! We were all wowed as usual while Lucy’s oval face curved into a modest smile that effused humility- typical her.
My turn came. He called my score (what’s there to hide, I made 4.5) and went on with some remark that my brain already in turmoil couldn’t retain. But the phrases that stuck were “too many needless adjectives and clauses,” and his last two words summarizing my essay “severe haphazardness.”
Now, I can swear that if I hadn’t hastened over the hour slotting in words every here and there just to boost my word count to fit exactly 995, I would have made at least 8. I’m not kidding at all, just believe me. But all that mattered was being someone else; achieving another person’s feat in the exact manner they did.
Does this scenario trigger an alarm in your mind?
It’s okay if it does. We get life mixed up some times. Some of us spend a better part of our lives doing so, pathetically. Like they say and I agree: better late than never. So it’s a wake-up call guys!
Really, the whole point I’m driving at is how pertinent it is for us to stop trying to replicate someone else and just be the best version of ourselves.
Remember, there is absolutely no qualm with admiring, looking up to, or even borrowing practices from someone who emblems your dream.
The only thing is all of that copy and paste should not be saved at once. No, it has to be edited and patterned to fit your own bricks of construction, else at the end, what your life would have become would be a wacky pile of “severe haphazardness.”
Today’s Challenge
Make a commitment to discover yourself.
Begin by taking time to ascertain your weakness and strength: make a list of four each for a start.
You can get a cue from things you do and do not thrive in. Be sincere. Decide to live life paying close attention to every pointer to your identity henceforth.
